Packers 53 Man Roster Prediction

We don't usually get very analytical here at the Ranter, as there are plenty of people out there who think they know more than us, and even some that do know more than us. However, I thought it might be fun to step into Ted Thompson's New Balances and do one of those 53 man roster projections that everyone seems to have so much fun doing this time of year. I spent many, many....several minutes running through the roster, and the following is what I was able to arrive at. It's a fairly non-traditional roster make-up, but I think the personnel department at 1265 would be impressed.

"Franklin did a really good job with this roster." 

Offense

Quarterback (2) - Joe Callahan, Taysom Hill

Running Back (4) - Ty Montogomery, Jamaal Williams, Aaron Jones, Devante Mays

Fullback (2) - Aaron Ripkoski, Joe Kerridge

Wide Receiver (5) - Jordy Nelson, DeAngelo Yancey, Malachai Dupre, Max McCaffrey, Michael Clark

Tight End (3) - Martellus Bennett, Lance Kendricks, Aaron Peck

Center (1) - Corey Linsley

Guard (5) - Lane Taylor, Jahri Evans, Kofi Amichia, Justin McCray, Lucas Patrick

Tackle (4) - David Bakhtiari, Jason Spriggs, Kyle Murphy, Robert Leff

Defense

Defensive Line (6) - Mike Daniels, Kenny Clark, Dean Lowry, Montravius Adams, Ricky Jean Francois, Brian Price

Inside Linebackes (2) - Jordan Tripp, Cody Heiman

Outside Linebacker (5) - Jayrone Elliot, Kyler Fackrell, Vince Biegel, Reggie Gilbert, Jonathan Calvin

Safety (5) - Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Josh Jones, Kentrell Brice, Marwin Evans, Jermaine Whitehead

Cornerback (6) - Davon House, Kevin King, Josh Hawkins, Lenzy Pipkins, Raysean Pringle, Donatello Brown

Special Teams (2) - Justin Vogel, Brett Goode

I know what you are thinking: this only adds up to 52 players. This is the result of the kicking vacancy that will need to be addressed before the first game. Not a big deal, in my opinion. Kickers are pretty easy to find.

What? That's not what you're thinking? Oh, I realize I forgot to clarify that this 53 man roster 52 man roster is based on the Packers' players who have not been cut, traded, or spit on when replacing Brett Favre/benched for a 5th round pick last season by fans.

Operating under these parameters, I think I pretty much nailed this roster. Enjoy...but, please, don't cut or trade anyone because I don't think I can do this exercise next year if you do.

But the Brats Wouldn't Come (A Song)

I went to Packers Family Night on 8/5/17. Before the game, I tried to get a brat at the Johnsonville tent for myself and my child. It took almost 45 minutes. I was not alone. 

Well they…

Musta not reckoned there’d be such a hunger

They were comin’ up empty but still taking orders

We chatted with one man who was buyin’ for four

And a single mom wranglin’ around even more

We had one thing in common – our desire to eat

But soon we were bonded in our heated speech

And everybody wanted some

But the brats wouldn’t come

And the dogs were all gone

It was starting to rain and there was lightning nearby

And I swear to this day, I saw a sweet child cry

Now, no one was blamin’ the man on the grill

But we all felt like cursin’ the Man on the hill

It’s a lesson you’d think was already taught

When you’re expectin’ an army you should plan for a lot

And everybody wanted some

But the brats wouldn’t come

And the dogs were all gone

(Via OrlandoVacation.com)

Update: Johnsonville has heard my cries.

It shall not dissuade me in the least from enjoying your flavorful meat selection. I just needed to vent, poetically. Thank you.

— The Packer Ranter (@PackerRanter) August 7, 2017

Update #2: The big winner - Paul's Pantry in Green Bay.

Really, really cool. We'll follow that up with some #Bratsgiving love of our own to those good folks. Thanks for the great example!

— Johnsonville (@Johnsonville) August 7, 2017