Zang Meh Doh – The Ultimate Draft Evaluation Domination Tool for the Modern General Manager

Ted Thompson, Doug Melvin, professional and fantasy General Managers alike, pay attention, because I have created a simple yet highly effective tool to help you not just succeed – but dominate – your drafts year in and year out.

It is called the “Zang Meh Doh” and it can work for you.

Zang meaning “excellent.”

Meh meaning “OK.”

Doh meaning “fail.”

Do not be fooled by its simple nature! When wielded properly, it’s extremely powerful and effective (that’s what she said).

Here’s how it works. Every potential draft pick is rated using a combination of two numbers formulated by your pre-draft rankings. The first number will be your Overall Valuation (OV) of the draft prospect, and second will be his Positional Valuation (PV).

To determine the Overall Valuation (OV), take your current pick, divide by the overall rank you have the player listed and then multiply by 100. Positional Valuation is done similarly. Take the number of players at his position already off the board, divide that number by you pre-draft positional ranking, and multiply by 100. Anything over 100 is considered positive (+) and under 100 is considered negative (-). The sum of these two numbers is your final Zang Meh Doh.

For the sake of argument, we’ll use former Badgers’ running back Montee Ball’s rankings from the wonderfully extensive and incredibly affordable Cheesehead TV Draft Guide. There, Ball is listed as the 71^st overall prospect and the 4^th-rated Running Back. In this example, let’s pretend Ball is still available for the Packers at the 88^th pick but only 2 Running Backs have been selected.

The Zang Meh Doh would give you a positive outcome for the OV of +124. (88/71 x 100), but a negative outcome for the PV of -50 (2/4 x 100) – again, anything lower than 100 is negative. Let’s enter those numbers in the chart and see the final grade.

As you can see, it would be a good score in the OV, meaning good value for the pick, but this is offset by the negative PV, indicating a possible reach at the position. In other words, very Meh at 74. You probably want to look elsewhere for some clear Zangs or some more-convincing Mehs.

BUT, let’s say there were 5 Running Backs off the board and Ball was still there with the 88^th pick. Re-entering those numbers still gives us an OV of +124 but now we can add on a positive PV of 125 (5/4 x 100). According to the chart, it’s a nice ZANG pick at 249.

Kind reader or professional draft strategist, it truly is that easy. I’ve drafted over 100 times in fantasy sports of kinds. I was the guy who first had the color-coded draft board and or that brave innovator to only bring the single-sided 8.5 x 11 one-sheet and pen to the draft. That’s because come draft time, it’s all about evaluation simplification. Since you’ve already done the pre-draft homework, the Zang Meh Doh is the ONE tool you need come draft time.

Ted, if you want me to act as an advisor for the draft, I am more than willing but please email me ASAP as I would need to find a replacement for my weekend bowling league. I believe we can make this year’s Packer draft a true Zang-Bang instead of a Meh-Fest or worst of all, a disgusting Doh-Show.

Notable ZANGs of the past include Aaron Rodgers at +2500, and at +14,950, Donald Driver is the biggest ZANG in Packers draft history. I don’t generally don’t like to rip on individual players, but let’s just say the Vikings and the Raiders have a lot had a lot of Doh-Shows in their draft histories, respectively.

Phriday Phablet Phun

Note: this is not a Packers-related post.

As some of you may know, Franklin and I were each recently given an early Christmas present from the good folks at Verizon – a brand new Samsung Galaxy Note II – with simple instructions to have fun with it. And if there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s having fun with things. Hell, I once turned some recyclables and a broken vacuum into a game of the ring toss (true story). I’m not sure if Verizon had heard about this, but I think they were hoping for some sort of creative execution or another.

Now, the first thing you need to know about the Note II is that this is no ordinary smartphone. It’s way too big to be labeled a phone, and yet it’s smaller than any tablet I know of. It reminds me of that whole “is he a linebacker or D lineman?” argument. Truth be told it’s actually a hybrid that’s been dubbed in some circles as a phablet (or if you prefer the lesser-known and much-much-lamer title, taphone). Check out the size of this bad boy next to an iPhone 4s.

Photo via AndroidAuthority.com

Getting to know this smartphone has been as fun as sampling beer and cheese at the farmer’s market. There’s more available features and functionalities than I'll probably ever get around to so I thought I’d just let you know what I’ve been using it so far.

And that is… videos, games and pictures. OK, I’ve made calls, texted and emailed with no issues but what obviously sets this thing apart is the 5.5-inch vibrant display. For me, that means entertainment. So along with tapiture games where you fling imaginary foul fowl through the air, video streaming late night and at work (sorry, boss), I’ve been watching highlights on Verizon’s NFL Mobile app every week. Simply put, it’s ridiculous. The technical term is “HD Super Amoled Screen” aka Bad. Ass.

All of this wouldn’t be available if the Note II wasn’t supported by Android’s 4.1 Jelly Bean OS, a quad-core processor, a rather impressive battery life and of course, Verizon’s lightning-fast 4G LTE network.

Now, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows with this bad boy. It’s definitely a handful (that’s what she said?). A lot of times you’ll need both hands to operate it effectively (too easy) and I found out the hard way that one should definitely remove it from his/her pocket when sitting down. And while I appreciate the capability of the S pen, to me it still feels unnatural and slightly inaccurate although I haven’t used it a ton.

You can learn more about the Samsung Galaxy Note II here.

Disclosure: I am participating in the Verizon Wireless Midwest Fans program and have been provided with a wireless device and five months of service in exchange for my honest opinions about the product.