From My Goiber to Yours

GOIBER (n.) An acronym, which stands for "Greenfield's Observations, Inventions, Brainstorms & Experiments Room." Also known as my basement.

It’s been said that everyone has at least one great idea. Not to brag, but I’ve had two so far (the endless bag of money and flying cars). When it comes to ideas related to the Packers and football, I can’t think of a better group to poll than the greatest fans in the world.

A few weeks ago, I requested that our readers volunteer their great Packer inventions to share. I was pleasantly surprised there are so many creative Packer fans out there. I’m happy to say you answered the call. Here is a list of the top Packer inventions as submitted by fans of the Ranter – all equal value in originality and awesomeness.

Ice Cup Holders – Graham, Wisconsin native, now in the Chicago suburbs
Like some of the best Packer ideas, this one was inspired right at Lambeau at the below-freezing 2007 NFC Championship game. Here’s how Ice Cup Holders came about in Graham’s own words:

As I was sitting (standing) sipping my beer and yelling loudly, my beer seemed to get colder. It occurred to me that this is not normally the progression of events when drinking a beer… Then it occurred to me. Sure I’m in Green Bay, the best place in the world, but how could I bring a little Green Bay to others.

Just think of the pleasure to millions of fans whose beer gets colder DURING the game. Then you can go get two beers, put one in your beer cooling cup holder and drink one while your other is getting COLDER.

Now if that doesn’t put you in the mood for a cold one, I’m not sure what will. I’m seriously considering pursuing a prototype for Ice Cup Holders in my GOIBER. Thanks Graham!

Green Bay Packer Crackers – John in Wauwatosa
“Green Bay Packer Crackers” is the only thing that John wrote, and why not? It doesn’t need a whole lot of explanation.

Seriously, this invention is absolutely brilliant in its simplicity. In all honesty, I’m kind of surprised I haven’t seen this anywhere yet. You could be onto something, John. And crackers go with cheese so well!

Aaron Kampman “The Camping Man” Action Figure – Corey in Madison
This idea apparently came from my AJ Hawkman post last month and a lifelong affinity for camping. Corey in Madison noted that Aaron Kampman is from the Midwest, looks like an outdoorsy fellow and is also a very charitable person. This makes him not only a good role model, but also a potential toy.

I always brought my GI Joe’s camping when I was little but my son just isn’t into them. He’s such a huge Packers fan that I think an Aaron Kampman action figure would really make him happy when we go up North.

And what little boy wouldn’t be happy with a toy molded in the form of a future Packer HOFer? What would make this invention even sweeter would be like a series of outdoor outfits you could dress AK in (the Hunter, the Camper, the Hunter/Gatherer, etc.). But maybe dress-up gets a little too Barbie, eh? Thanks, Corey!

40-oz Koozies – John in Wauwatosa
They make ‘em for 12-oz bottles and cans, why not a 40-ozer? This is the second zinger from Wauwatosa John and another gem. Just imagine the envy of your friends as you carry around your O.E. in a mega Packer koozie. Well done, John, well done indeed. Let's party sometime, btw.

Leg-Mounted Brat Holders – Franklin Hillside of the Original Packer Ranter
This isn’t your ordinary Leg-Mounted Brat Holder; this one is mounted right inside your pants! …You know, to help your legs stay warm during cold games.

As each holder would potentially hold four brats, if you double your Leg-Mounts, you’ve doubled your brats (eight!!). Not only will you be saving money from not having to buy your meat at the game, but you can also make new friends as you pass them out to your Lambeau neighbors. (Optional kraut dispenser clips to the inside of your jacket.)

I’ll merely echo Franklin’s words when I say, “Yes!!!!” to the Leg-Mounted Brat Holders.