It Sounds Like The Packers Need a Pep Talk

Via Packer Report's Twitter machine, I saw the following little ditty from Coach McCarthy from his press conference.  (@PackerReport is a great follow if you enjoy using the Tweeter.)

MM said players were acting like they lost the game today.
— Packer Report (@PackerReport) October 29, 2012

Well, last I checked, when you score more points than your opponent, it counts in the "win" column. Sure enough, the NFC North standings reflect this assumption. Sure, it wasn't exactly pretty, but when you are down nine starters, and you lose two more, you can't always look pretty like this.

It sounded to me like the Packers need a little pick me up.

"Now as Coach Mike probably told you, my name is Matt Foley, and I am a motivational speaker."

"So, let me give you a little scenario about what my life is all about. First up, I am 35. I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river."

"You there, what position do you play?"

Tim Masthay: "Well, actually, Matt, I kind of always wanted to be a QB."

"Well, la-dee-freakin'-dah! We got ourselves a QB here. Hey, Coach Mike, I can't see too good. Is that Bartholomew Starr over there?"

Mike McCarthy: "...."

"Now from what I hear, you're using your arm not for punting but for throwing footballs. You're going to be throwing a lot of footballs when you're living in van down by the river!!"

"Hey you guys are probably saying to yourselves: I'm gonna go out there and grab the NFL by the tail! and wrap it around and pull it down and put it in my jock strap. Well I'm here to tell you that you're probably going to find out, as you go out there, that you're not going to amount to jack squat!"

"Well, I see one solution! And that is to get my gear and move into Lambeau! We're gonna be buddies! We're gonna be pals! Just me and my buddies!"

{Matt picks up James Jones and swings him around}

"I'm gonna get my gear!"

Mike McCarthy: "Umm...actually, Matt, you don't have to do that."

"I don't really give a rat's behind! I'm moving in! I'm tired of living in a van down by the river!!"

Now, I'm not sure if this little pep talk will work, but I do know that this poor coffee table was never heard from again: