Need Green Bay Lodging on the Cheap?

Robert and I noticed there was some anger and disappointment following the release of the 2011 Packers schedule. This anger stems from Packer fans being subjected to overpriced accommodations while staying in Green Bay during game weekends. This price increase would be justified if the level of services and amenities were raised, but I have my doubts that the Motel 6 will not only leave the light on for you, but they will stock your mini-fridge with Spotted Cow, fresh cheese curds, and beef sticks, and also provide you with a limo ride to 1265 complete with champagne and bratwurst. It's gotten to be somewhat out of control. Most fans, myself included, can't drop a mortgage payment on two nights in a lumpy bed. Therefore, Robert and I have put together a short review of a hotel... ummm... motel... ummm...building where we stayed one year. We believed that the savings accommodation would allow for our limited funds to be used on food, drink, and petrol, which they did. So, if your liquid assets are dwindling, you might consider Green Bay's Economy Inn. Might being the operative word.

Looking for an alternative to the price-gouging done by chain hotels during Packer game day weekends? Look no further than the $40 a night Economy Inn of Green Bay. Who knows what kind of exciting people you'll meet during your stay? Drug dealers, women of the night, criminals and generally seedy characters of all kinds lurk and loom in the dimly lit hallways, traveling in and out of their rooms like drunken worker bees at all hours of the night.

The rooms have an interesting design scheme with lime green painted cinder-block walls, mismatched bedspreads, and shadeless lamps. The smell of stale cigarettes, sweat, and and cheap booze permeates the room (and your clothes when you leave). The bathroom, while not dirty, wasn't exactly clean, but according to Robert, it was spacious and offered plenty of room to kneel and even lay down!

For those time-crunched and celebration weary travelers, checking in and out is a breeze. Sure you may have to scribble a signature when you arrive, but at the Economy Inn, identification is not required. In the morning, simply hand off two Andrew Jacksons on your way to your car (provided it's still there) without any questions asked, despite whatever loud, ominous screams that may or may not have been reverberating the hallways the night before.

Other $40 motels just cannot match the total hospitality package that includes a key, gravel parking lot, fecal smell and general feeling of being robbed at knifepoint at any time. Oh, and if you have anything you may not want anymore, a camera, CDs, a half empty case of beer, just leave it in your car, it's sure to be gone in the morning.

Hope this review helps when you are weighing your lodging options in Green Bay. We're not convinced it will, as most of our readers seem to have a slightly more advanced level of common sense then we do, but oh well. Go Pack!

The Perfect Tailgate

To kick off the season, Franklin and I have put together our top 5 tips to help everyone's Lambeau tailgating adventures reach their full potential. We have a combined 50 years experience at over 350 Packer games, so you know our advice is a good as the award-winning sausage from Louie's.

Franklin suggests Tunes. Or some kind of audio system. Be it the sweet system in your customized minivan or a boombox with only a cassette option, some kind of music is essential. You’ll need plenty of AC/DC and two musts are Robert Brooks' Jump in the Stands as well as the Packerena.

Robert suggests a Football. No matter what Packer you’re trying to emulate, whipping a pigskin can really bring out the best in a parking lot party. Because there’s cars, bottles, burning grills, drunkards (perhaps you’re one of them), and a million other obstacles, it requires both skill and general knuckleheadedness. Nothing will provide the same levels of exhirliration, comradery and manhood you’re looking for quite like throwing the football.

Franklin suggests Beef Jerky. You need something to gnaw on while sitting in traffic. Nuff said.

Robert suggests the 20% Rule. Whenever you think you’ve finished packing all your food and booze, add another 20%. Here’s why: You never know when you’ll meet some cool fans you’d be willing to share some Leinies and curds with, or maybe a couple of hot chicks up from Madison really dig your style and want to party. Plus, that leftover braunschweiger and kraut after the game can make that Packer win taste even more satisfying.

Franklin suggests Beer from Wisconsin. Get a wide variety of choices, all the way from Miller down to Lake Mills’ Tyranena, Pabst, Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee's Best, Point, and New Glarus. Having any sort of imported beer (in this case, "imported" refers to beer brewed outside of WI state lines) is an insult and should draw derision and scorn from your fellow Packer fans. It may even prove you are a closet Viking fan, you poser. LEAVE THE PARKING LOT AND TAKE YOUR GRAIN BELT WITH YOU!